I am reading George MacDonald's book "The Curate of Glaston", what a deep "fiction" book. I love it! I wanted to write some things down..."Wingfold was not one to take offense easily. He was not important enough in his own eyes for that, and he decided to let the matter drop." "Let me just ask if you have not already found in that book the highest means of spiritual education and development you have yet met with? It is the man Christ Jesus we have to know, and the Bible we must use to that end- not the theory or dogma. in that light, it is the most practical and useful book in the world.- But let me tell you a strange dream I had not long ago." "There stood the beloved disciple (in Polwarth's dream)! His countenance was as a mirror which shone back the face of the Master. Slowly he lifted the book and and turned away. Then I saw behind him as it were an altar where a fire of wood was about to do. he laid the book on teh burning wood, and regarded it with a smile as it shrank and shriveled and smouldered to ashes. Then he turned to me and said, while a perfect heaven of peace shone in his eyes: 'Son of man, the Word of God lives and abides forever, not in the volume of the book, but in the heart of the man that in love obeys him.' "Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?" "Here I am bothering over words, and questioning about this and that, as if I were examining his fitness for a job, while he has all the while been claiming my obedience! I have not once in my life done a single thing because he told me.- But then, how am I to obey him until I am sure of his right to command? I just want to know whether I am to call him Lord or not. Here I have all these years been calling myself a Christian, even ministering in the temple of Christ as if he were some heathen divinity who cared for songs and prayers and sacrifices, and yet I cannot honestly say I ever once in my life did a thing because he said so. I have not been an honest man! And I thought to myself, 'Have I today done a single thing he has said to me? When was the last time I did something I heard from him? Did I ever in all my life do one thing because he said to me, "Do this?" and the answer was, 'No, never.' Yet there I was, not only calling myself a Christian, but presuming to live among you and be your helper on the road toward the heavenly kingdom. What a living lie I have been!"
"The Lord says, 'Love your enemies.' Do you say, 'It is impossible'? do you say, 'Alas, I cannot? but have you tried to see whether he who made you will not increase your stength when you step out to obey him? The Lord says, 'Be perfect.' , Do you then aim for perfection, or do you excuse your shortcomings and say, "To err is human'? If so, then you must ask yourself what part you have in him. The Lord says, 'Lay up for yourselves treasures on earth.' My part is not now to preach against the love ofm oney, but to ask you, 'Are you laying up for yourselves treasures on earth?" As to what the command means, the honest heart and the dishonest must each settle it in his own way. No doubt you can point to other men who are no better than you, and of whom yet no one would dare question the validity of their Christiananity. but all that matters not a hair. All that does is confirm that you may all be pagans together. Do not mistake me. I am not judging you. For my finger points at myself along with you. but I ask simply to judge yourselves by the words of Jesus. The Lord say, 'Take no thought for your life. Take no thought for tomorrow.' Explain it as you may, but ask yourselves, 'Do I take no thought for my life? Do I take no thought for tomorrow?' The Lord says, 'Judge not'. Did you judge your neighbor yesterday? Will you judge him aain tomorrow? Are you judging him now in the very heart that sits hearing the words, 'Judge not'? Or do you side step the command by asking, 'Who is my neighbor?' Does not your own profession of Christianainity counsel you to fall upon your face, and cry to him, 'I am a sinful man, O Lord'? The Lord said, 'All things you would that men should do to you, do also to them.' You that buy and sell, do you obey this law? Examine yourselves and see. You would want men to deal fairly to you; do you deal juast as fairly to them as you would count fairness in them toward you? If conscience makes you hang your head inwardly, however you sit with it erect in the pew, can you dare to add to your crime against the law and the prophets the insult to Christ of calling yourselves his disciples? not every onethat says unto me, "Lord, Lord," shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that does the will of my Father who is in heaven."
"Tossed he was in spirit, calling even aloud sometimes to know if there was a god anywhere hearing his prayer. He was sure only of this, that whatever else any being might be, if he heard not prayer, he could not be God. Sometimes there came to him what he would gladly have taken for an answer, but it was nothing more than a sudden descent of calmness on his spirit, which, for anything he could tell, might but be the calm of exhaustion. His knees were sore with kneeling, his face white with thinking, for when a man has set out to find god, he must find him or die."
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