I Am His Treasure!

God's timing is perfect!  He is a King and as a king he has a storehouse of treasure and guess what the treasure is?  Me!  I am His treasure, isn't that amazing!  As I posted yesterday I was worried about not ever being on time in my life...in the different seasons of my life- I have been believing lies about me and it is time that I let go of the shame and allow God's truth and love truly wash over me in a big way!  Shame is insidious!  It lurks in the shadows and colors everything that I do and everything that I am.  It is not from God!!!  I was reminded last night that God has me in this season of life because it is His perfect timing, He knew all the particulars of my life and He knew what I needed and when.  I am not behind the eight ball.  I am just where God ordained me to be right now.  Sometimes I add shame upon shame when I not only worry about where I am not measuring up and then I am frustrated that it is taking me so long to "get it."  Again, God's timing is perfect and He knows exactly what I need at any given time and when it is time to address this issue or that. 

My destiny has a lot to do with other people- but shame keeps me focused on myself!  That is a huge revelation in and of itself.  Shame is all about how I am defective, how I don't measure up, how I am not as good as this person or that person, how I am not popular, how I am not as fashionable, how I am not as pretty, etcetera.  I could go on and on.  Is that really productive?  It leaves me in a state of paralysis, self-pity, and useless to love, serve, or reach out to anyone- after all, I'm not good enough or they won't receive what I might have to give.  I have actually seen this many times in regards to physical affection.  I have always been stand offish, feeling like I am being presumptuous to approach someone, maybe they don't want me or like me or whatever.  Have I ever thought that when someone came to give me a hug?  Rarely, if ever...It is the shame that is dictating my behaviors, not the love of God.  My life needs to be defined in how much I am loved.  Am I perfect?  No, but I don't need to be.  God loves me just the way I am right now- He is so gracious!  I loved what Dave said last night- God is always in a good mood!  That perspective is so foreign to me.  When I was growing up it felt as though I never measured up to my parent's expectations.  I felt like I was always being judged for who I was.  I could never just be, I couldn't be silly or free because then I was being a show-off.  "Who do you think you are?"  I never knew who I was then and now I am just realizing who I am now- I am God's treasure.  It's easy to say the words, but it is really true! 

God will bring deeper and deeper healing to me as I serve those around me.  I need to start with my husband and son.  Love them, give yourself to them fully, realize that you are incredibly important to them, they need you to be all that God has called you to be so that they can be all that God has called them to be.  You instill the love of God into your son, not by talking about it, but by living it, it is an organic thing.  The actual process of fulfilling my destiny will bring healing.  Don't be so downcast, lift up your head, put your hope in God!  God has given me every thing I need.  I am the inheritance of God!  What an amazing thought!!  Wow, Lord, help me to really get that in the core of my soul.  There is security in really knowing that.  There is a new boldness to minister in the midst of knowing that truth.  Even my thoughts cannot drive Jesus away!  He is closer than my own breath.  He WILL NOT leave me or forsake me.  No matter what I think of Him or anything else- He loves me still!  Even when my thoughts of Him are less than who He really is!  He will always woo me closer to who He really is. 

Lord, I want to see who You really are, not the idol or the god of my own making, but who you really are!  I think of all the birthday blessings I received yesterday- will I receive them as true heartfelt experssions that they were meant to be or will I brush them off as something else?  Start receiving the love of the Father through others and through His spirit.  I can do nothing apart the infusion of His love.  I need His love like lifegiving intravenous fluid.  Without Him I am good for nothing.  Without Him I fall back into sinful thinking...what is sinful thinking- it is thinking untruths- I do not want to entertain false assumptions anymore.  It's not a matter of right and wrong anymore, it is a matter of life and death!  God sees the greater reasons why He says I wouldn't do that if I were you...not because He wants to control or because He is just waiting to watch the hammer fall, no, because He knows what it will do to my soul and that I will miss out on the full measure of His blessings, the life of peace, joy, freedom, love, hope, the truly abundant life!  That is what abundant life is- living fully in the continual knowledge and waterfall of his redeeming love!  Here I am Lord, standing under Your waterfall, soak me to the bone that I would get not just a glimpse, but a huge revelation of what Your purposes are for me here on this earth.  I love You so much, but You love me so much more!  Your love is perfect.  I will choose to believe that I Am Your Treasure now and forever!