The title of this blog was borrowed from one of the lines in one of Rich Mullins songs, I'm not sure of which one though. These words have been rolling around in my head for the past several days. The last couple days have been very hard for me emotionally. I think a lot of it may be related to hormones and I have had a terrible headache for three days now. It's amazing how we think we are so strong sometimes. We can be so strong one minute and in a puddle of tears the next. Literally we can think we are on top of the world one moment and then come crashing down for no apparent reason at all, from one comment that someone makes, or a memory. We are very vulnerable to others. We often think that a certain person hurts us or disappoints us, overlooks us, abuses us, etcetera, but we "wrestle not against flesh and blood..." These issues we face from day to day are spiritual matters. I said to someone recently in my frustration that, "You are my problem!" They responded very wisely, "Yes, but I am your solution as well." That thought really struck me- how true is that? We can be a healing balm to one and the thorn in another's side and sometimes we can be both at the same time to the same person.
Yesterday I was pondering our perceptions of things and how deeply they can affect our emotions because of how we end up seeing ourselves and then we end up acting upon them. How much do we really know that we are loved no matter what? I mean, no matter what! I was talking to someone yesterday about how both of us struggle with not feeling good enough...we somehow don't feel like we make the grade, measure up to be certain people's friends...why do we feel that way? Is it something these other people said, how their dressed, how they respond (or not respond) when we talk to them, their facial expressions, or what? We often perceive things, it's a gut feeling, something that doesn't feel right. We can't put our finger on it and we end up trusting this feeling rather than going with what is at face value. I had this happen to me yesterday...I needed to get some paperwork from someone at church and I can't put my finger on why I felt this way, but felt like she really does not like me somehow. It's stupid, I know, but it bothered me for quite some time and I thought about it many times. Sometimes we can have an intuitive feeling about someone or something that is right on. I believe this is a God-given gift that we can all tap into and yet at other times we may be totally wrong. How do we discern between the two? I think we need to assess where we are at at any given time...are we feeling down about ourselves for some reason? Are we not feeling well physically? Think about it, if we really, really understood how much God loves us to the depth of our being, no matter what crazy things we do or the stupid things we say, wouldn't that radically change our life? Wouldn't that truth radically change the way we relate to others? If we really knew how much He loves us, would it matter if someone didn't like us? I mean, the God of all the universe thinks we're pretty cool afterall. It reminds me of the Scripture that says, "If God be for us, who can be against us"! We are valuable enough to die for...
I was thinking about how frequently when we feel "unpopular" we often "snub" our noses at the "popular" because we don't feel like we meet up to their standards and yet often that is just our own faulty perception rather than what is true. And, actually, we are doing the very thing that they are doing to us in reverse; sort of like reverse discrimination. Yeah, maybe there are times that this may be true, but more likely they are not feeling any differently than any of us and they may need to see that we care about them and take a few minutes with them...this discrimination takes place on both sides of the perception game- Satan's game is to divide and conquer in any way he can. If we just choose to be ourselves with whomever we meet than we will be more likely to win people over, no matter who they are. We are cool when we do not realize that we are cool. Don't put it on, don't try to falsely fit in...we just need to be ourselves and realize that none of us are as strong as we think we are. We all need each other- to love, to encourage, to cheer on, to lean on, to confide in, to be accountable to, etcetera. We must never forget how frail we are, and if we are then we must believe that our brothers and sisters around us feel this fraility as well. Jesus was not a respecter of persons- he didn't care if the people were rich or poor, high class or low class, popular or unpopular- they were all just people to him and He was Himself no matter who He was with...that is what brought healing to so many...and that is who God calls us to be too!
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