Wow, so many thoughts on my mind...I just found a friend of mine, a nurse who has cared for a transgendered person that I also took care of a few years back. I don't know what I think about all of it. I do not believe that God would create us male and female with our unique DNA so that we would become something other than what he created. I cannot imagine being in such a place as having such an identity crisis of that magnitude. Each one of us are on our own journey. We were all created with a sense of something missing, a void. We are all on a quest to find our identity. This plays out in all of us in such different ways. I believe so many of the things that we do, don't do, the things that get us into trouble, even our pursuit of success, all of these are frequently tied into our search for our identity. This may include our addictions, our sins, our failures, our relationship problems, our quirks, I could go on and on....The problem that I see though is that often we are searching for our identity apart from the God who created us in our inmost beings. We cannot find our identity apart from God. He is the one that created us and instilled within us desires, hopes, dreams, plans, etcetera. We go off into crazy directions when we search for our identity without that realization. I do not believe we can ever be at peace with ourselves when we choose that which is not God's highest and best for us. I do not believe that God would create someone who was physically a different sex than what they created them to be. How does one understand this whole thing? I believe that this is a deviant lifestyle, but I also believe that God loves and knows the heart of everyone. He knows where we came from and where we are going. He knows our hurts, our fears, our failures, as well as our hopes, our dreams, and the call that He has for us. Will we try to make sense of God by our experiences and what we are able to understand or will we try and understand ourselves in the light of God's infinite understanding and love? I do not believe that we are to rationalize our behaviors or negate the truths of God's Word because our experience does not match up. I find myself asking why instead. God is able to handle an honest question like that. I believe that we can all learn from one another, no matter where we come from or what we have in common or not. He does allow people in our path, maybe it is to challenge our thinking and I love to have my thinking challenged and maybe it is to solidify even more clearly what and why we believe.
I believe each of us at the core of our being is searching for understanding, searching for unconditional love and acceptance. The thing is, I do not believe that we will ever have that in a person. No one can ever love us that fully, that completely, that thoroughly, as God himself. He knows us through and through, as he created us and is with us for our entire lives (20,30,75 years and actually for all eternity) and still loves us inspite of us and because of us. But, he does not love us with a sloppy love, but a very deliberate love. Love hurts, no doubt, just as Christ died on the cross- it was not a feel good kind of love, but rather a laying down of one's life to save another. God's love is unconditional and yet eternal life is conditional. Yikes, some will not agree with me on this point, but, read the Bible yourself and see that God calls us to do many things... "Call on the Lord and you shall be saved." "Take up your cross and follow me." "Forgive and you shall be forgiven."
A friend of mine and I were talking about so many things today. This whole homosexual militancy. Why is it that I am required to accept homosexuality and why do many of this community think it is socially acceptable to do things (like ride bikes down the street in a parade with nothing on) that we as heterosexuals could not do or we would be arrested for indecent exposure. Why are we thought to be intolerant and yet they are intolerant of those who do not agree with them? Why would they want to identify themselves merely by their sexual preference? Don't they have other things that would define them such as artists, nurses, writers, business owners, etcetera...When I think of the gay parade I think well maybe I should go down the street and wear a tshirt that says, "I love my husband." I don't understand this thinking at all. There is more to each of these folks than merely who they go to bed with each night. If someone asked me what I thought about gay people I would agree with my friend today who said, "Which ones?" There are creepy gay people and there are creepy straight people. There are nice gay people and there are nice straight people. It has more to do with the particular people than it does with their sexual orientation. I had a friend named Mac when I was in my 20s- he told me he was gay and he was with his boyfriend Phillip- I didn't agree with their lifestyle, but I would not preach to them all the time. I liked them actually. I think it is important to love them, but that does not mean that I need to agree with them either.
Lord, our identity can only be found in you! Please direct my steps to you. To know your love for me. The hope that you have for me. You love me enough not to keep me where I am. Teach Your truth and give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name and when I see others whether transgendered, homosexual, had an abortion, has tatoos and body piercings all over, been a prostitute, or some filthy rich person, whatever they are and wherever they have been, let me love as you would love. Let me love them in such a way that they could not deny the truth, let me be so filled with your love that it would overflow to all that would come in contact with me...
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