It never ceases to amaze me the heart that God has for me...He loves me so unconditionally and most of the time I don't even realize the magnitude of this...what a huge gift this is. Sometimes I am oblivious of this until I fall. It's then when I botch it, make one of my biggest blunders ever or just biff it in the same thing one more time...that's when I need to know so desperately that I am loved in spite of my weakness and failure. Unconditional love is the most powerful healer of all. I can say that with experience, even though I really don't get it at all...why is it so hard to understand and not only understand, but receive? Could it be it is so foreign to our world?
Because I really don't "get" it, I have a difficult time giving it to others, sometimes especially to those closest to me. I have many lofty ideas for my relationships with my husband, children and friends. The thoughts I have before my husband gets home for example...
I will tell him how much I love him, give him the biggest hug ever and then he comes home and I find myself upset over something stupid...how he makes a mess when he cooks, why am I not just grateful that he is cooking at all? Why am I irritated by the smallest, stupidest things instead of celebrating that we are together, alive, healthy in a warm home, full bellies and blessed with family. Some people have absolutely no one and feel so alone and would give anything to have my life. and yet I find myself failing day after day in so many ways, forgetting all the blessings that God has given me and continues to give me every minute of every day. Have I told them I love them even when I am upset and filled with angst? What am I so upset over anyway? Can I let it go knowing that I often only see things from one perspective, mine...maybe my way of seeing things is not the only way and maybe it is not the best way...
The longer I live, the longer I realize I know less and less of what I thought I knew. That is a good thing! May I just realize this on a daily basis with those I love...not jump to conclusions, (my own conclusions) so quickly...
Friday, December 16, 2011
Unspeakable Joy!
Can you imagine being filled with joy no matter what tragedies or difficulties are going on around you? Being imprisoned, being beaten and mocked by co-workers, neighbors, peers? Being hungry and tired...most of us would complain and walk around with a depressed facial expression hoping someone would ask us if we are okay so we can outline just how tough we have it...getting others sympathy seems to be my motivation oftentimes. Can we tap into a joy that dwells deep within our hearts...can we find that place of peace in the midst of our storms that will change our very countenance and have people wondering what we are up to? We can, at least that what Paul had and that is what he talks about in the book of Phillipians. He was all of those things, jailed, tired, hungry, wearing rags, mocked, beaten, and yet...he counted it all joy! We here in America have it so easy, as soon as we are too hot, too cold, hungry, criticized, we are ready to throw a towel of "joy" in and complain to every passer by about our plight.
I was thinking about this the other day. My husband and I have been thinking of buying a pop-up camper. Up to this point we have always camped in a tent and before we were married my friends and I would always camp in a tent...but now with a little boy I thought it would be really be nice to have a bit more space, some head room and a nice comfortable bed...as we have been looking at campers I am amazed at the cost of them and the extravagance of so many. It got me thinking of how so many people all over the world live in huts, sleep on the sidewalk, and are fortunate to have shoes on their feet and food in their belly. I am astounded at our level of selfishness, me included. I remember someone once remarked that if we have change in our pockets or money in our bank accounts, we are richer than 95% of the world! That means that even the poorest person in the United States has more than the most people and, if they need help, we have programs to help...not in India, Africa, or the Philippines. There is no help except the help given by their fellow man, their neighbors, their friends. The body of Christ.
Some of those campers cost 150,000 to 300,000!! How many people would that feed? Clothe? House? We are so rich in so many ways and yet we are so poor as well. I remember going to Haiti for a missions trip in 1989. People there had nothing! They had dirt huts to live in. One hut I went into had huge furniture (compared to the size of their hut) all covered in plastic. You'd be amazed to see the dark, dark skin off set by the biggest white smile that you had ever saw. They were full of joy! They had little, but had much!
Why does joy elude us so often? Are we focusing on the wrong things? We are always looking for the next thing...never content with what we have and where we are in the moment...
I just finished reading a book about the persecuted women of the church all over the world...the fact that they could sing in the midst of dire circumstances of most despicable atrocities was astounding. Where do they find the ability to rejoice in the midst of that? It can only come from one place...they knew the God that created them would sustain them and that this world is not all there is...
I have sensed that too...in the midst of my own struggles and despair, this longing for my home, my real home. I know it is there because my heart tells me it is there. My heart continually pulls at me and reminds me, sometimes to my chagrin, that there is more than meets the eye. I am relieved to know that and yet restless in the waiting. A place where there are no more tears, no more sighing, no more sorrow...isn't that a place we all long for? Our hearts tell us there has to be more and aren't we glad? This truth alone causes joy to rise up within me! Unspeakable joy! My heart holds on to this truth! I will hold on to that joy until I shall be there and then I will know that the wait was worth it all!
I was thinking about this the other day. My husband and I have been thinking of buying a pop-up camper. Up to this point we have always camped in a tent and before we were married my friends and I would always camp in a tent...but now with a little boy I thought it would be really be nice to have a bit more space, some head room and a nice comfortable bed...as we have been looking at campers I am amazed at the cost of them and the extravagance of so many. It got me thinking of how so many people all over the world live in huts, sleep on the sidewalk, and are fortunate to have shoes on their feet and food in their belly. I am astounded at our level of selfishness, me included. I remember someone once remarked that if we have change in our pockets or money in our bank accounts, we are richer than 95% of the world! That means that even the poorest person in the United States has more than the most people and, if they need help, we have programs to help...not in India, Africa, or the Philippines. There is no help except the help given by their fellow man, their neighbors, their friends. The body of Christ.
Some of those campers cost 150,000 to 300,000!! How many people would that feed? Clothe? House? We are so rich in so many ways and yet we are so poor as well. I remember going to Haiti for a missions trip in 1989. People there had nothing! They had dirt huts to live in. One hut I went into had huge furniture (compared to the size of their hut) all covered in plastic. You'd be amazed to see the dark, dark skin off set by the biggest white smile that you had ever saw. They were full of joy! They had little, but had much!
Why does joy elude us so often? Are we focusing on the wrong things? We are always looking for the next thing...never content with what we have and where we are in the moment...
I just finished reading a book about the persecuted women of the church all over the world...the fact that they could sing in the midst of dire circumstances of most despicable atrocities was astounding. Where do they find the ability to rejoice in the midst of that? It can only come from one place...they knew the God that created them would sustain them and that this world is not all there is...
I have sensed that too...in the midst of my own struggles and despair, this longing for my home, my real home. I know it is there because my heart tells me it is there. My heart continually pulls at me and reminds me, sometimes to my chagrin, that there is more than meets the eye. I am relieved to know that and yet restless in the waiting. A place where there are no more tears, no more sighing, no more sorrow...isn't that a place we all long for? Our hearts tell us there has to be more and aren't we glad? This truth alone causes joy to rise up within me! Unspeakable joy! My heart holds on to this truth! I will hold on to that joy until I shall be there and then I will know that the wait was worth it all!
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